his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
