We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
