Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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