i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Randomize
