Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
