i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Holy shit dude........stairs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
