There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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