seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
