everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
