I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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