i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
