dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
