Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my shit smells like andre
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
