so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
