his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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