I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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