Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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