Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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