Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
