hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
