You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
