I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
