I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
