ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
