I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
