Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
