just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dick very happy bro
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
