Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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