i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
