who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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