it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
