You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
