puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
