I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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