i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
