i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
