Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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