there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In other news, I just burned my penis
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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