I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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