between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
