Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
