On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
