Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
