those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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