haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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