Plan B is the new Plan A
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
