I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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