do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
