There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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