On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
